Posted in Mental Health, POC

Colored, Black and Brown and Blue

I am a person of color. My skin isn’t pure black, alas, I’m not lucky like that. Instead, my skin is brown. On top of that, I am Asian. For some, that’s a big black mark against me.

I am a person of color and I am proud of it. I ask myself, why should I have to state the fact that I’m proud of it, as if it’s something to be ashamed of? Why do I have to feel inferior and less because of my skin color?

I always knew about this atrocity—racism, but lately with everything that’s been happening, with the pandemic and its impact on how people view Asians and POC and bigotry still alive against black people, it hit me like a sledgehammer to the face.

I lived the first 3 decades of my life on a tiny island where the majority of people are POC, including various ethnicities and cultures. Still, even in that environment, as a child I was taught that white is beautiful. White skin is attractive.

Why? Why is white seen as beautiful? It’s the color of mourning. A speck of dirt and it’s stained.

I spent a big part of my life fighting a sense of inferiority and ugliness because of my skin color. It took me a long time to get to a place where I could look in a mirror and not cringe. I look at my hands, my brown skin and to me, that’s beauty.

I don’t make friends easily but the ones who get me, I cherish them. One of my best friends is a black guy and to me, he’s beautiful. Another is Chinese and she has the biggest heart. I love her. One of my friends is Muslim and she’s been a great friend. I have a penpal who’s blonde and white—she has a beautiful heart and is a wonderful mom. It doesn’t matter to her that my skin is brown. The one who closes off my tight-knit circle is half-Taiwanese and half-American—she’s always there for me and she’s a big part of my journey.

It took me a long while to learn to love myself, to realize that my worth isn’t based on my skin color. And still, now that I’m in such a big country, it’s saddening that I have to prepare myself to stand strong against bigotry and prejudice. I have to face the fact that white people will look at me and see me as ugly or less than them. Or worse, assault me, verbally and physically for my skin color.

As a woman, it’s worse. Throughout history, women had to fight for everything. We had to fight for every right. The right to vote, to be respected, to be seen as strong and capable, to be seen as equals. I wonder why it’s not something that unites us as women of all colors. Why is it that even among women, our skin color is something that separates us when, if you look at it, we should be united?

Why do we, people of color, have to be treated as less? Why is it that on paper we have equal rights but in reality, it’s the opposite? Is this what it means to be human and humane? Is this what humanity is leaving behind as its mark in the universe? Humanity’s biggest achievements in the Guinness World Records are what, bigotry and prejudice?

The recent happenings in the news are heartbreaking. I get it that my blog is a small one and my voice just a pebble in an ocean. But I’ve always believed that in the face of an injustice, even if it does not affect us directly, we have to speak up. With enough pebbles, you can create a mountain that surpasses even an ocean. To me, staying quiet in the face of injustice shows compliance and agreement. It is not right to stay silent.

I am a person of color, and I am every bit as human as a white person.

Though if I could choose my skin color, I would go for blue, like the Na’vi.

∼Lyn

Author:

I'm a die-hard bibliophile and I'm also an introvert. My blog's about books, books and more books. (yep, that was easy) I might, from time to time, write about life and its vagaries. I like taking pictures of books and doing origami.

18 thoughts on “Colored, Black and Brown and Blue

      1. Hanging in there is tough, at times. Regardless of colour and whether you are male or female (or how the person chooses to identify) the darkness inside does not discriminate.

        It is a very powerful piece, you are a strong person and you are very brave for sharing it.👍

        Not all white people judge people on the basis of their colour. A lot of white people judge people on their looks and job too, especially other white people, take it from someone with a crap job and who is ugly.

        A lot of what goes on in the world, shouldn’t in today’s day and age. It probably never should but we have to make mistakes, grow, learn from and be better. Sadly, that doesn’t happen and we still repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

        Many white people are assholes, we aren’t all bad though and we all don’t judge a person on their colour, some of us see past that and just see who the person is.😀

        I guess I found some words this time.😂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You totally found some words this time! 😀

        You’re right, Drew. I know some white people who don’t give a damn about skin color and who are decent. I know even among colored people, a lot are assholes. I don’t lump all white people in the same pot, only the bigoted ones.

        And you’re not ugly. You’re pretty cool, dude. You’re one of my closest friends here on the blogosphere. 🙂

        Thank you for the compliment. I thought a lot about whether to write it or not but it just kept bugging me. I needed to write it. I was gonna ask you if you wanted it as your guest post but even if it would have gained me more views, I didn’t want to get your blog in trouble. I wanted to write the post through my blog so I could own it, you know? I mean, that I was standing up for my words.

        Thanks again, for your words. You’re one of the best crayons in the box. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I often find words nomad, you read my blog, I have a tendency to ramble on and on and on.😂 Then, I ramble some more and then I throw in a couple of repeated bits too just with different words that have the same/similar meaning and point.😂

        Oh yes, coloured people are assholes too. Sadly, I can’t really say that though as even though it is true it’d get me in trouble with some people just for stating the truth. I’d be called a racist for it and that is not the case, at all, I’m not. An asshole is an asshole regardless of their colour and a decent person is a decent person regardless of their colour too, colour doesn’t make a person, it is what is inside that counts.

        There’s a Nickelback video, I can’t remember the song. I don’t like the band, my mother does though, strange woman that she is.😂 Anyhow, the characters in the video all have a timer above their heads that is running down to their time of death. Now, what we need is a sign above all of our heads that displays what we are. So, it’d have ‘decent’, ‘asshole’, ‘twat’, ‘racist’, ‘joker’, ‘fiddler’, ‘nun’, ‘bad boy’, ‘naughty girl’, ‘sarcastic idiot’, ‘fluffy bunny dragon’.😂😜 So that, then, we can see what the person is like and focus on that rather than their colour which is something that we should look beyond.

        I totally get that, it’s a bit like when I write poetry, you just need to get out what is inside of you and put those thoughts/feelings into words to try and make sense of them and to try and stop them festering. At the least, having them written allows you to read them.

        I doubt that it would have gained you more views on my blog as my blog is a stagnant swamp of nothingness with hardly any views. It seems to be failing and I’m definitely not a popular blogger. Don’t get me wrong, I know stats are irrelevant but it is still nice to know that people actually read and care about your views on books rather than having zero views, zero f#cks and 1,500 words. Sorry, tangent, I said I can ramble.😂

        I doubt that it’d have gotten my blog in trouble nomad, the only thing that gets my blog in trouble is me.😂😜

        I totally get you though about wanting it to be on your own blog and to allow you to stand up for your own words too.😀 I hope that by standing up for your words though that you haven’t received any backlash over them and the post? I can’t see why you would have done but I don’t understand a lot of people so, if you have, let me at them, I haven’t ranted for a while and I’ll kick their ass.😜

        Best crayons in the box??🤔 I’ve never heard that saying before!😂

        Ah bless, look at you being nice and calling me one of your closest blogging friends.😂😜📚 Joking aside, thank you, I’m pleased that you think that.😀

        Liked by 1 person

      4. IT’S GREAT when you ramble on! 😉 Nickelback is one of my favorite bands. I LOVE their songs. (I can already imagine all the teasing you will be subjecting me to now.)

        I appreciate it that you took the time to leave these comments. It meant a lot to hear your thoughts. Yes, I understand what you mean about not being able to call a colored person an asshole even when they are being one. I have the same problem but the opposite for me. I can’t call a white person an a-hole when they are being one because of my skin color lol. It’s all becoz of this racist atrocity. If everyone were being treated based on their actions and their attitude, and not their skin color, it’d be a whole different matter.

        I haven’t had any backlash yet. I think maybe it’s becoz my blog is small and hasn’t reached many people. Still, thank you my knight in black armor for your support and defense of me. Totally appreciate it, dude. Seriously.

        And yeah, you’re absolutely my favorite blogger and closest friend here. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Well, I mean, I could tease you about Nickelback but, they aren’t as bad as the Backdoor Boys, nothing really is.😂😜

        Also, if we are sharing, the reason my Mother first heard Nickelback was because I had purchased their album with that How You Remind Me song on it? Silver Side Up I think the album is, not too sure as it was years ago and so, yeah, can’t really tease you about them as I own one (maybe more) of their albums and quite like a few of their songs. Luckily, I do not own a BumButt Boys album so I can constantly tease you about them.😂😜

        Good, I’m glad that you haven’t received any negative feedback over the post. It was very brave of you to put yourself out there and post it. You deserve applauding for doing that and while I can’t see how or why anyone would take offence or be negative over it but you never know where people are concerned. I mean, some people have taken offence over what I’ve written in the past and I am never controversial or offensive, so, ya know, people are weird.😂😂😂

        Oh, you know me Nomad, I am always happy to share my opinion on things.😂

        Ah, no, I’m not a Knight in black armour. I’m definitely not a Knight and at least you didn’t write shining armour as my armour, regardless of its colour wouldn’t be shining but tattered, torn, worn, weathered and stitched together. I’d rather be a Witcher than a Knight anyway. ⚔️

        Ah, bless.😀 I think you are my only blogging friend! I have tried and failed where making friends and being part of the community is involved.😂

        Oh, one last thing, feel free to call me an asshole anytime, as long as I’m actually being one of course.😂😜

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Once again, wow, dude, seriously, I rated so many words from you? I am making progress. Didn’t even need the pliers to pry words from you like I’d planned. 😉 lol

        I love Nickelback. I just recently found out that a lot of Americans kinda make fun of them because they are Canadians? I don’t get it. Their English is amazing and Chad Kroeger’s voice is out-of-this-world.

        Yeah, people are no good. You never know when they go off, like ticking bombs.

        Hey, the Witcher’s like a Dark Knight. I’d rather a cool villain or anti-hero than an actual hero. Even though I love Superman, I just can’t reconcile myself to the way he sees humans in a favorable light, and the halo on his head? Don’t get me started. I think I like the guy just because of his powers but I prefer Dark Knight’s and the Witcher’s more realistic and sarcastic attitude.

        As they say, Friends 4ever, dude. Live long and prosper. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I have known you for over 20yrs, I have never seen you for the colour of your skin! I have only seen you for your smartness, kindness and amazing talents!
    Reading this makes me so sad to see the journey you have been on to loving yourself! I really hope you can see your true beauty, because I can ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know, the hypocrisy of white people who are afraid of people of color and yet they’ll spend millions of hours and tones of money trying to get perfectly tanned! I don’t get it – skin color is just DNA, just a level of melanin in your body. Either you have a little or you have a lot. What difference does that make? Does that determine what type of person you are? No, it does not. What is in your heart and your soul are what determine what type of person you are – nothing physical. Are blue eyes better or worse than brown? Neither! Is curly hair better or worse than straight? Neither!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This left me speechless. As an Indian, it took me quite a while to understand that skin color doesn’t matter. Lyn you are awesome✊

    Liked by 1 person

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