I wasn’t going to talk about this. I started drafting my weekly meme post “F Is For Friday” but I found myself writing about this in it. I try to leave only good things for my Friday meme, to try to practice gratitude and I didn’t want this negativity in it. What happened is still on my mind and maybe writing about it will exorcise it. I just want to be done with it. Writing is my salvation. By jotting something down, I can exorcise it from my mind, give a well-deserved burial. So, I guess that meant I had to do a separate post.
This has been a really lousy week for me, filled with bitter disillusionment about someone I’d believed to be a real friend. You think you know people but you don’t. You never do. This was such a hard thing for me to accept. I already knew it, of course, and yet, I allowed myself to trust and care.
Some of my closest friends are people I met through Goodreads or Instagram or here, on WordPress. We’ve never met each other before and we might be oceans away or on the other side of the world from each other but in one instant, we clicked and became fast friends.
Still, I’m a very private and wary person so I don’t just open up to anyone. That’s why when I meet people I connect with that instantly, I cherish them. That kind of friendship is like finding a diamond among rocks.
I met someone like that on Goodreads and we began chatting on Instagram. We clicked at once and talked and talked and shared pics of each other and shared stories of our families and a lot of personal stuff for more than three months, during which we chatted every day. I know that’s not long to know someone but time is relative. When someone shares that much with you, you get to know that person. I valued her as a really good friend.
Then out of the blue, she says her Instagram’s not working, and that she wants to cut off from all social media. I respected her decision and try to support her in whatever she’s going through. Instead, I find out that she hasn’t cut off from social media and instead that “friend” blocked me on Goodreads and when I check my Instagram, I find I was blocked there as well.
I was confused. I couldn’t understand why she’d done that. I tried contacting her but no response. It was very unpleasant for me to try to reconcile this new version of my “friend” to the person I thought I knew.
It’s like all this time, I’d known Dr. Jekyll and now I was faced with Mr. Hyde. Like I was dealing with two different persons – the first one was my friend, thoughtful and so caring. The second one a total stranger who didn’t give a damn about me.
The worst is, I don’t even know why. She didn’t even do me the courtesy of telling me why and that was hard to figure out because she seemed like an upfront person. I don’t know if I’d done something wrong or not to be treated in this manner. I don’t understand why people do that. Why not just tell someone you don’t want to be friends anymore? Why play games like this?
I’ve been told I can be blunt almost to a fault. I don’t play games and I tell people upfront what I think. When things are not alright, I say so. I can’t understand how someone who pledged to be upfront could be like this? Because it’s something I wouldn’t do.
So, this was a real donkey kick in the face. Because that diamond turned out to be a mud ball in disguise. It’s a shitty thing to do, cutting off completely from someone without giving them a reason. Am I supposed to spend the rest of my life wondering why? To hell with that. If that’s the kind of person my “friend” truly was all along, then I want nothing to do with her. I’m the type of person who strikes someone off their life when this kind of shit happens.
I did not write this post to throw mud on her or badmouth her. Thing is, she never even checks my blog. And now that I’ve been blocked like this, for no reason at all, I don’t see her checking my blog. So, no hidden agenda, people.
I’m not hurt, really, more like confused about why this happened. I hate that she preferred lying and using subterfuge than being honest.
And I’m done. I don’t care what the reason is anymore and I’m definitely not giving her another thought. She chose to do this unpleasantness. I’m done with someone like that. I don’t forgive or give second chances.
I’m grateful for my small circle of friends for being here for me, for having taken a chance on me. The silver lining from this fubarred situation is I realize how lucky I am for my circle. But I’m never taking a chance on someone else ever again.
Hell no, I am never going to open up to another person on GR on Insta again. No way, hosé. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Lesson learned in stone.