Posted in Book Blog, Mental Health

Depression à la Reading Slump

Mental health is such a vital thing. The majority of people still don’t realize its importance. With the forced confinement brought on by COVID, maybe some people have become aware of this though I’m not holding out hope that mental health won’t go back to being a taboo once life goes back to normal.

Depression is like an insidious snake, it often creeps up on you unaware and you don’t know it until you’re mired in muck so deep, you can’t pull yourself out of it. For those of us who have it, you know how the littlest things can set it off—a bad day, lack of rest, fatigue, an argument, things not going your way (especially no matter how hard you try or how you do everything right and it’s still not enough), a book hangover, the disappointment of two highly-anticipated books that fell way below your expectations.

As a norm, my mind has two modes (Nope, not an on/off switch, sorry). A) I’m either too high or so low I could sink beneath the earth or B) I don’t feel anything a.k.a apathy i.e. an absence of emotion. When I’m high, it feels like I have champagne bubbles in my veins. I could be the happiest person in the world but the emotion is not real and the fake happiness doesn’t last. Of course, at one point, you gotta come down from that high.

And when the low comes—oh, boy, you tank so bad that staying in bed and crying for all the bad things that happened to you, because your mind is a masochist and replays all your mistakes over and over again just to show you how worthless you are, are the only things you can do.

So, all in all, you can see why I rather prefer the apathy. I used to hate it, the lack of emotion, and I’d do anything to feel something. Now, it’s my lifeline. When you don’t feel anything, you can’t spiral into despair. But the downside to it is that you don’t give a damn about anything. Nothing matters in this state. So, I have a coping mechanism for that—my principles & BOOKS. For as long as I can remember, books have been my escape and my solace. A good book allows me to feel emotions without the high/low factor.

However, being a book dragon with depressive tendencies isn’t without its own set of problems, especially when you’re stuck with a book hangover or the dreaded reading slump, which can bring on the D word and let me tell you—it sucks. It sucks when you’re depressed and you can’t even read your way out of it.

Reading-wise, August was a good month and I was up to such a good start getting through my NetGalley and Edelweiss books. One of the books I read, Fable, was an amazing read. Then September started. I was lucky to get two new highly-anticipated releases I badly wanted. But rotten luck prevailed since both books turned out to be disappointments. Book hangover from Fable, followed by two disappointing reads one after the other at the very start of this bloody month, all equaled to…*drumrolls*… yes! Reading Slump! (note the sarcasm.)

September used to be my favorite month, but this year since it’s started, I’ve been miserable. My usual solutions for dealing with reading slumps haven’t been working—reading old favorites, changing genres, reading newer books—nothing’s working. So anal obsessive soul that I am, I sorted my obsessive-compulsive TBR list by number of pages, which entailed searching on Amazon for each title from my TBR list (which had 3,000 titles & change) and checking the total number of pages in the description section because I wanted to read books with less than 200 pages to get rid of my reading slump. What can I say, it kept my mind occupied.

Did it work, you might ask. Did it get rid of my reading slump? And the answer to that—a big fat no. I’m all out of options, unless jumping off a bridge is still valid. On second thought, the water’s freaking cold. So I’m writing instead, venting I guess, or spiraling again? Fellow book dragons, mind sharing your coping mechanisms for reading slumps?

I hope ya’all are having a better month than me. Mazel Tov.

∼Lyn

Posted in Mental Health, POC

Colored, Black and Brown and Blue

I am a person of color. My skin isn’t pure black, alas, I’m not lucky like that. Instead, my skin is brown. On top of that, I am Asian. For some, that’s a big black mark against me.

I am a person of color and I am proud of it. I ask myself, why should I have to state the fact that I’m proud of it, as if it’s something to be ashamed of? Why do I have to feel inferior and less because of my skin color? Continue reading “Colored, Black and Brown and Blue”

Posted in Book Blog, Mental Health, Miscellaneous

Life Update, Blog Update

Life Update

Hiya everyone! I know I haven’t been around for a while now. I don’t know if it was the depression, burnout or just life in general getting me down but I lost interest in both blogging and Instagram. I was kind of at a loss for inspiration and motivation and I kept asking myself, why bother? What’s the point of it all?

And the answer? I chose this. I chose to blog and to post on Instagram. Maybe there’s no point but it was my choice. It still is. That was a relief for me, because if I am not doing all these things what else would I be doing with myself? I’m going to try a different perspective to it all – to my life, to doing the things I want to do, to try to stay interested in things that bring me pleasure. Continue reading “Life Update, Blog Update”

Posted in Blog Memes, Mental Health, Whatcha Doin' Wednesday

Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday – 20 November 2019

I thought about not doing this post today. I haven’t been very active on my blog these past couple of days. I didn’t even do Drew’s Music blog meme. Then I thought if I don’t write now, I’ll keep going downhill.

How to participate in the meme:
1. Credit the creator of this tag (Me! 😉 ) and link back.
2. Answer the two questions to the best of your ability.
3. Most important of all, enjoy yourself!

Questions:
1. How are you? (How often do we ask or get asked this question with the intent to really know how someone is?)
2. What’s one thing that can inspire you or make you feel good? It can be anything, a person, a book, a poem, a song. A bumper sticker 😉 Continue reading “Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday – 20 November 2019”

Posted in Blog Memes, Mental Health, Whatcha Doin' Wednesday

Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday – 13 November 2019

I have neglected my blog these past few days. I wanted to do a post, write something but I just wasn’t up to it. Not just because of the cold, but I was in the grips of depression as well and it wasn’t until Tuesday when I finally drummed up enough courage to be human again.

Also, it sucks when your phone breaks down and you have to use a shattered screen. Thankfully, I was able to get a new one yesterday so that helped alleviate my troubles a bit. Hail Retail therapy.

How to participate in the meme:
1. Credit the creator of this tag (Me! 😉 ) and link back.
2. Answer the two questions to the best of your ability.
3. Most important of all, enjoy yourself!

Questions:
1. How are you? (How often do we ask or get asked this question with the intent to really know how someone is?)
2. What’s one thing that can inspire you or make you feel good? It can be anything, a person, a book, a poem, a song. A bumper sticker 😉 Continue reading “Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday – 13 November 2019”

Posted in Blog Memes, Mental Health, Whatcha Doin' Wednesday

Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday – 23 October 2019

Already the middle of the week and all I want is Friday already! I’m tired already and all I wanna do is sleep. However, I’m re-reading the In Death series – one of my favorite series ever and that’s helping me keep on track – more or less.

How to participate in the meme:
1. Credit the creator of this tag (Me! 😉 ) and link back.
2. Answer the two questions to the best of your ability.
3. Most important of all, enjoy yourself!

Questions:
1. How are you? (How often do we ask or get asked this question with the intent to really know how someone is?)
2. What’s one thing that can inspire you or make you feel good? It can be anything, a person, a book, a poem, a song. A bumper sticker 😉 Continue reading “Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday – 23 October 2019”

Posted in Blog Memes, Mental Health, Whatcha Doin' Wednesday

Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday – 16 October 2019

Almost halfway through October, people. How is everyone doing? Are you having a good month or struggling? I struggled the first half of October. Still am but it’s not as bad as last week.

How to participate in the meme:
1. Credit the creator of this tag (Me! 😉 ) and link back.
2. Answer the two questions to the best of your ability.
3. Most important of all, enjoy yourself!

Questions:
1. How are you? (How often do we ask or get asked this question with the intent to really know how someone is?)
2. What’s one thing that can inspire you or make you feel good? It can be anything, a person, a book, a poem, a song. A bumper sticker 😉

1. How are you?

I’m doing okay today. I’m still struggling especially with time management and letting go – God, letting go can be so freaking hard. But good books help me deal. I finished City of Ghosts by Victoria Schwab yesterday and it was a light and easy read and helped to ease the chaotic machinations of my mind.

2. What’s one thing that can inspire you or make you feel good?

Music. It helps me cope when sometimes I feel so down that nothing helps. A good beat can even get my lazy ass moving and go Cha-cha-cha. lol.

What’s your Wednesday like? How are you?

Posted in Blog Memes, Mental Health, Whatcha Doin' Wednesday

Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday – 02 October 2019

Hiya, everyone! Whatcha doing on this day? How are ya? Yeah, I’m in western mode today. I might even break out in a Yee-haw lol. It’s one of those high days – when my mood gets so high it’s like I’m doped on drugs. Huh.

How to participate in the meme:
1. Credit the creator of this tag (Me! 😉 ) and link back.
2. Answer the two questions to the best of your ability.
3. Most important of all, enjoy yourself!

Questions:
1. How are you? (How often do we ask or get asked this question with the intent to really know how someone is?)
2. What’s one thing that can inspire you or make you feel good? It can be anything, a person, a book, a poem, a song. A bumper sticker 😉 Continue reading “Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday – 02 October 2019”

Posted in Blog Memes, Mental Health, Whatcha Doin' Wednesday

Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday – 25 September 2019

Alright, middle of the week, time for a mental health status!

How to participate in the meme:
1. Credit the creator of this tag (Me! 😉 ) and link back.
2. Answer the two questions to the best of your ability.
3. Most important of all, enjoy yourself!

Questions:
1. How are you? (How often do we ask or get asked this question with the intent to really know how someone is?)
2. What’s one thing that can inspire you or make you feel good? It can be anything, a person, a book, a poem, a song. A bumper sticker 😉 Continue reading “Whatcha Doin’ Wednesday – 25 September 2019”

Posted in Blog Tours, Book Blog, Book Reviews, Mental Health, Netgalley

Book Review: Six Goodbyes We Never Said – Candace Ganger

Hello, everyone, I’m participating in my second blog tour. Happy release day to Six Goodbyes We Never Said by Candace Ganger. Here’s my stop in the blog tour and my review.

Rating: 4/5 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Genre: Young Adult Contemporary

Review:

Mental health, what does it mean? Is it a big issue, a small one? Is it real or tall tales? Even in this present enlightened day, despite awareness efforts and campaigns, a large majority still don’t place as much importance to it as they should. In small countries, mental disorders aren’t viewed as genuine or real or worse—they are viewed as a bid for attention. The people with these disorders are seen as being difficult. What so-called “normal people” don’t understand is those with disorders are actually having a difficult time. Continue reading “Book Review: Six Goodbyes We Never Said – Candace Ganger”