Do you ever feel like you get all these opportunities for free time so often and instead of utilizing that time wisely, doing all the productive things you want to do, you miss those opportunities by being a total sloth and lazing around and just wasting all that time away? Yeah, that’s who I’ve become, a total sloth. Sometimes I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I guess it’s pretty obvious I’m having a crappy Monday and a lousy start to this month.
I don’t understand anymore why I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. I know better, and yet, it’s like there’s a disconnect between my mind and my body. I can’t seem to reconnect, to push my body to do what my mind wants to.
Albert Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
I tell myself I’ll do things differently but I seem stuck in the same vicious loop and I can’t break out of it. I told myself this month would be different but I already wasted the first two days of June, doing you’ll ask what? Nothing. That’s right. I did nothing. There were so many things I should have, could have done but I didn’t. Why?
I don’t know how to be different, how to get the results I want with all these dead-end roads I keep taking.
Will I be stuck like this? Always filled with regrets.
I know that there are no do-overs so all I can do is let go. Let go of the time I wasted, and instead learn from my mistakes. Stop punishing myself for what I didn’t see when I was in the moment but what is clear to me in hindsight. But the fact remains, hindsight sucks.
Here’s to hoping I don’t end this year with these regrets.