They say despair is the absence of hope. You find yourself struggling on the edges of it. Every day’s a battle. It’s waking up every day, facing people, facing the world. It’s facing discouragement, failure. It’s facing your own faults, your shortcomings. It’s sinking in a sea of nothingness, untethered, adrift, lost and being unable to find the will to care.
Sometimes you find yourself caring too much, and other times, apathy’s your best friend. But apathy, the lack of emotion, can be dangerous. In that state, things that should matter, don’t—nothing matters. You feel like you’re fumbling in the dark, searching for the purpose of your life.
I fall in the second category. I keep dropping the golden ring in the sand and spending my life digging to get it back. So how do you do it? How do you make sense of the world around you? How do you stay strong?
By keeping your eyes on the horizon. By looking forward, instead of backwards. The past is done with and nothing can change it. Unless you have a time machine and even that comes with its multitude of problems, the main one being temporal paradox. Trust me, you don’t want that headache.
There are so many things you want to do and yet despair shackles your hands and feet. The lack of motivation, ambition. The apathy that it doesn’t really matter. The only one standing in your way is YOU. Despair, unhappiness, frustration and all these negative emotions are a state of mind. YOU are your biggest and strongest supporter. YOU are the change you’re waiting to happen.
Let your mind, your faith, your belief and dreams be your sword and shield. Fight, fight, don’t say you can’t. Say you WILL. Say you won’t give up.
Life is never what we want it to be. It’s messy and frustrating and disappointing. Fighting depression, the blows life deals you, is an ongoing battle. Some days are good. Some days are bad, like today. The key is not to dwell on the bad days, to keep moving forward. Just that one step.
That one tiny step will unleash a chain reaction and turn into an avalanche that will make you stronger and make it all worthwhile.